Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize