This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize