Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
