I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
