My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
