Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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