idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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