You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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