Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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