this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You are the jesus of drinking
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
