Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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