She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
