sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
i out mim tonsoeep
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
