god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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