Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
it glows. i had to have it.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
