They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize