i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
