he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
