I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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