Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
