I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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