careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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