I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
