His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
This is my gift to your gina
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
