dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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