yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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