Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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