I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
my phone needs a breathalizer
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
