This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
