it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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