Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
