Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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