our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
