areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
