He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
