Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
