So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
