i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
