You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
