my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
