i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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