Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
