I think I am morally bankrupt
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Randomize
