Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
