He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
