It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
