Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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