whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
