you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
