Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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