she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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