new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
