The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize