Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
