I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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