if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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