I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
this will be a night to untag.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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