so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
that is very illegal...i love you.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
