just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
