I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Can't talk, ducks in the car
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
