explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
