She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
