woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
