god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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