so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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