tell your sister to shave her snatch
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
well you can't waste a boner
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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